Feeling Needy

Tonight I'm feeling so needy
Needing you to be by my side
Needing you to need me
Needing an affirmation
To ease my neediness
Needing your arms around me
Needing to hold you close
Needing to hear words of love
To ease my neediness
Needing to feel your warmth
Needing to taste your kisses
Needing you in every way
Because as you know
Tonight I am feeling so needy

If the Pain Could Just Go Away

There are some days that I feel I could just die
And no one would even notice or even care
Which sounds like I'm having a big pity party
But really I'm not feeling sorry for myself
I really feeling sorry for others and for you
The ones who have to put up with me
And all of my mood swings and neediness
So here I sit with a splitting headache
Feeling that my head could explode
Almost wishing that I could just die
And wondering if anyone would really care
Even thinking that it might be a blessing
Especially to you and to me
If my head would just stop aching
And the pain of it all would finally go away

Last Night As You Held Me

Last night you held me
Until I fell fast asleep
There next to you
Together in our bed
Feeling your warm body
Next to mine
And feeling your love
Last night as you held me

Being Together on A Walk

Tonight we went walking
And I was in complete bliss
Just walking with you
And talking
Two lovers
And two friends
Enjoying each other
Comfortable in the cool evening
Just being with each other
Sharing time and space
And just sharing each other . . .
Oh! How I love you and being with you!

Starving for Just One More Kiss

I just kissed you a few minutes ago
Yet I'm already starving for another
Because I just can't get enough of you
Or your kisses or just having you close
I suppose that I am totally addicted to you
But it is your fault for ever kissing me
Or holding me or making love to me
Yes, I am admittedly addicted
To you in every way possible
Hooked without a cure
Starving for one more
Kiss from your lips
But you know
That one
Will never be
Enough for me
Because I want to kiss you
Over and over and over again
Forever and forever and forever
Always starving for just one more kiss
Even though I just kissed you a few minutes ago . . .

My Chest Feels Tight, Is it My Heart Feeling Full of Love?

My chest feels tight
As it has for many days
Especially lately . . .
In my mind I tell myself
It is the feeling of love
That I have for you
Yet, I often fear
It could be something more
Something quite ominous
Maybe my heart failing
Causing me great worry
Fearing to be a burden to you
So if it isn't my heart
Feeling all full of love
I hope and I pray
That I go ever so quickly
So your life can carry on
And I can go to hell
Or wherever . . .
But I hope its just my heart
All full of love for you
And I will go on living . . .

Washing Dishes and Watching You Read

Today I watched you from the kitchen window
As you sat on the back lawn reading
In the fleeting afternoon sun
All while I washed the dinner dishes
Flirting with daydreams of you and me
Making afternoon love or going for a walk
Or just doing anything that we could do together
But knowing that you prize your alone time
I continued watching you from afar
As I washed the dinner dishes
Caressing every dish
With a tenderness and love
Hoping that it would be a little way
We could connect and you would know
That I love you with every beat of my heart
And hoping that you won't think me crazy
For feeling the way that I do about you
When I find that even washing dishes
Is a loving and sentuous activity
That feels me with desire
To be with you forever
And for eternity

Addicted to You and Your Kisses

When you kiss me
Your kiss gives me life
Like a breath of fresh air
And just like I am addicted to life
I am addicted to your kisses
And for that matter
I am addicted to you . . .
You know, you surely do
That hardly a minute goes by
Without you on my mind
Finding myself craving you
Craving you in every way
And right now I am craving
Your lips and your mouth
And your kisses
Because when you kiss me
Your kiss gives me life
Like a breath of fresh air
And just like I am addicted to life
I am addicted to your kisses
And for that matter
I am addicted to you . . .

I Am Yours, My Heart is Yours

I love life and I love people and I love you
My love for you is the utlimate of my loves
And would do absolutely anything for you
Anything and everything within my power
Which means that I live for you in all I do
And as a last resort I would die for you . . .
I would hope that my love for you is selfless
And that my love and actions are so perceived
For that is how I approach my love for you
Always thinking of you through my heart
Giving my heart, mind, and soul to you
I am yours do with me as you may . . .

On Death and Dying

Today, I received word that a good and respected friend died suddenly, leaving a wife and family who are mourning his passing and will miss him greatly. So sad, yet endearing . . .
And in the recent past I have learned of a friend who is nearing death due to a brain tumor and how through it all that his dear wife is standing by him, caring for him with deep caring and love. So sad, yet endearing . . .
I know that in both cases there has been a heavy burden to bear. One in dealing with a sudden and unexpected death, and the other in caring for a loved one who everyday becomes a little more invalid, needing constant care. Yet, it is a care which is accompanied by a deep and abiding love. An unselfish love. An eternal love. And this too is endearing . . .
I'm not looking forward to death or dying and I certainly don't want to be a burden or a stone around anyones neck, so I promise to go quickly when the time comes. And if I were to end up with a terminal disease, I would do my best to either end it all or simply sever ties and disappear so as not to be a burden to anyone. Sad? I suppose that depends. Endearing? Perhaps, especially if there is no deep and abiding, caring love. I would just hate to be a burden. Now, I suppose that this might seem like a real "downer" and some might read this and ask what happened to my realities regarding positive thinking, optimism, and all of that. But please note that I didn't title this entry "My Reality #5," because I don't see this as a reality at this point in my life. And yet, I do see this attitude as something that is positive in that I reallyl don't want to be a burden to anyone or another stone around their neck. So this entry is merely a comment on death and dying and nothing more. It is just an entry to my on-going writings which I see as neither sad nor endearing . . .

My Reality #4

One of my realities is that I sometimes just don't get it . . .
I try to understand, but as hard as I try I just can't, although it may occur to some that I don't want to, which really isn't the case because as hard as I try I really and honestly just don't get it. I just don't, because to me life is made of our attitudes and the choices we make, and my attitude is to try my best to think and be positive, that proverbial glass of water always being more than half full instead of half empty, and that is the choice that I make. And coupled with faith and hope I do my best to approach each day with both a positive attitude and positive choices, and yet I understand, but don't understand why some people say that I don't get it . . . I just wish that my reality would be understood instead of demeaned, ridiculed, and laughed at. But regardless, I know that God understands my reality and so I maintain my course and forge forward.

My Reality #3

My reality is based firmly in a belief of God and his infinite powers and eternal teachings of truth. My reality is based on His teaching of love, faith, and hope. And yes, my reality includes the belief in miracles. I believe that each day will be better than the previous and so I try my best to start each day with a positive attitude. My reality includes a belief that I can become tomorrow something better than I am today. I believe in treating others in positive and ways of civility and courtesy, and when I do make mistakes to admit them and ask for forgiveness. These are just a few of my thoughts on what reality is and means to me and I am convinced that over time my faith and my hope for the things of importance to myself and to God will prevail, which includes an eternal family, happiness, friendship, trust, and love. And as these things are my reality, I pray daily and constantly for them to be fulfilled in His time and for those who will make the circle of this vision inclusive, shared, and the reality complete.

Drifting Off to Sleep

I couldn't sleep last night
So I'm dead tired today
Which is actually tonight
If I could tell the difference
But I'm so sleepy I can't
Tell the difference that is
And I could sleep anywhere
Regardless of what time it is
Or wherever I might be
Be it day or be it night
I can't tell the difference
Because I am so very tired
That I'm drifting off to sleep
To be with you in my dreams
So that you will be with me
At least with me in my mind
Just like when I'm awake
But maybe I'm asleep already
And all of this is really a dream
Dreaming about going to sleep
When I'm already asleep
Yet too tired to know what I am
Or where I am or have been
Only wanting to be with you
Be it awake or be it asleep
With you and in love with you
Forever and ever and zzzzzzz . . .

Unable to Sleep on a Sunday Night or Early Sunday Morning

I am unable to sleep . . .
Sunday night or an early Monday morning
It matters not to me because I cannot rest
My desires to kiss your lips and hold you
Not giving me a reprieve to a night of sleep
As I obessively thirst for your sweet kiss
And the taste that still lingers on my lips
From your past kisses that have blessed me
Yet, you lay sleeping, unaware of my plight
Or my desires to marry my lips to yours
You sleeping soundly the whole night through
My reverent love for you helping me to resist
Forcing mouth and lips to continue to thirst
A thirst that will keep me awake, full of desire
This Sunday night or early Monday morning
I am unable to sleep . . .

A Sunday to Replay Everyday

Today was a beautiful day
A Sunday I would like to replay
Every Sunday and everyday
For the rest of my life and forever
It was a day of sacred communion
A day of worshipping God and you
Holding you both close to my heart
Partaking of your soft, warm flesh
To begin this most perfect day
Followed by God's holy sacrament
And a day of restful reverence
Of God's teachings and wisdom
Filling every void in my heart
Along with my eternal love for you
And so went this most beautiful day
A Sunday I would like to replay
Every Sunday and everyday, forever

A Sunday Jealousy

Sunday afternoon, sunny but cool
Perhaps the last vestiges of summer
And there you were basking on the lawn
Warming yourself, stealing a little sun
Bracing yourself with the help of a sweatshirt
Not wanting to give in to a soft cool breeze
And not wanting to waste a single ray
Of a fleeting sun that would soon disappear
To the cold winds and snows of winter
And there I stood not too far distant
Watching you bask there on the lawn
As you loved every ray of the dying sun
Unaware that I was close by watching
Full of envy of the rays of a dying sun
And fearful that you love those rays
More than you have ever loved me

Kissing You in My Mind

You are in the other room watching TV
And I am here at my desk writing . . .
But my heart and mind are right next to you
And in my mind I am kissing your soft, tender lips
With you holding me close and kissing me back
And so it goes, as I sit here writing . . .
But in my mind and heart
I'm right next to you
Kissing and kissing . . .
You over and over
In my mind
And heart . . .

Scuba Diving in Cancun Remembered

While scuba diving in the warm Carribean waters of Cancun
I fell more deeply in love with you
As you became a mermaid
In the crystal waters
Your lithe body
Sleek and smooth
Easily gliding with grace
And with tantalizing beauty
Swam more deeply into my heart
While my mind made love to the mermaid
That you became in the warm Carribean waters of Cancun

Sharing Time and Space on a Saturday Night

Sharing time and space on a Saturday night
Each reading a magazine or book
A silent and treasured night
Of precious togetherness
You and silently sharing
Time and space
And each other
A nearly perfect evening
As I glance over your way
Ever so often making love to you
With my eyes . . .

A Rainy Saturday and a Dream

Saturday morning has arrived once again
So I find myself hurrying to mow the lawn
And pull a few weeds before it begins to rain
So like a whirlwind I am off as though on fire
Pushing the lawn mower back and forth
And up and back as fast as I can
All in an effort to beat the rain
Which is begining to drop
From the black clouds
Hovering over me
And my lawn
But it isn't all that bad
Maybe it will be my lucky day
And you will smile at me
Wanting to play
For sure, I could go for an afternoon
Of daydreaming and cuddling
With you, the woman I love

Needy for You and Your Love

I need you, but not in a needy way
My love for you being a choice
As is my commitment to you
Which is a commitment to us
But you say that I am needy
And maybe you are right
You usually are . . .
But regardless how you see it
I really do need you
Even though my love for you is a choice
And I am committed to you with all of my heart
And also committed to us
So maybe you are right and I really am needy

This Morning While You Showered

This morning while you showered
I was filled with envy for the water
That bathed and caressed your body
As I visualized your naked splendor
And wished that you would invite me
To join you and share with the water
The joy and wonder of caressing you
And showering you with my affection

Awake or Asleep, You are With Me

In my every waking hours
And in my sleep
You are with me
And visions of you
Are always in my mind
Whether awake or asleep
And that is just the way it is
I can't get you out of my mind
Or out of my heart
And I wouldn't change a thing
Or have it any other way
Because, you see
I love you

I Would Do Anything For You

I would do anything for you
Absolutely anything
Just to please you
And see you smile
Because, you see
You and your happiness
Are most important to me
In fact, on the importance scale
More important than anything
Including life itself
Because, you see
I would even die for you
If that is what it would take
For you to be happy
And I pray to God
For your happiness

Everytime . . .

You know, everytime I look at you
It is always like the very first time
When I first layed my eyes upon you
And everytime our lips meet in a kiss
It is always like the very first time
When we first embraced and kissed
Causing my heart to swell in my chest
And causing me to fall more in love
With the woman that I loved
Even before we ever met
And every morning I gaze upon you
While you lay there still sleeping
It is like the first time that I saw you
And I fall more deeply in love with you
You, the woman that I will love forever
And will love for all of eternity

Watching You Tonight

Tonight
As our day came to an end
I admit to lusting after you
As I watched you
Readying yourself for bed
My eyes worshiping you
And my body wanting you
Your smooth skin calling me
Your full breasts inviting me
And your thighs enticing me
While I made love to you
In my mind as I watched you
Readying yourself for bed
With me lusting after you
As our day came to and end
Tonight

Together Last Night

Last night you held me close
And I felt your warmness
As our two bodies united
And my heart raced
While my spirit calmed
And I felt your love
As we shared the silence
And the tenderness
Of being together

My Reality #2

You make me complete. Without you, both me and my life would be insignificant and that is my reality. Without you I would be a cifer. A zero. You inspire me to be my best and work my hardest. This has always been so and is an undeniable reality. I try so hard to please you and contribute to your happiness, because seeing you with a smile or look of contentment on your face makes me the happiest man in the world, because you see, the focus pf my life is you. My reality and self-worth is all focused on you. I loved you before we ever met and have been in love with you ever since, and this is my reality. You bless my life. You are my life's blood and my heartbeat. You are my reality. You make me complete.

My Reality #1

Reality?What is it? What is really real? Is reality the same for everyone? Or do each of us have our own reality? For me, reality is waking up every morning, treating each day as a new beginning and a chance to create my own reality, a reality based on faith and hope and optimism that every new day will be better than the previous day. And this is my reality.

Pulling Weeds and Bandit Grasses

Sitting on the front lawn with you
Pulling weeds and bandit grasses
In the Saturday afternoon sun
Enjoying being with you
Both of us with dirty hands
And both in jeans and T-shirts
Sharing both solitude and small talk
Me occassionally reaching out
To touch or brush against you
Feeling blessed by the closeness
Wanting to ravish you right there
But only doing so in my mind
Remembering past embraces
And the intimacies we've shared
Hoping to share such moments
Over and over again with you
Even just pulling weeds and bandit grasses
Will be an experience I will always cherish
I suppose this is what is called being in love
And I love you
I always have
I always will.

Your Kisses

My lips are hungering to touch yours with a tender kiss
Kissing your lips is something I find hard to resist
I could kiss you a million times a day
But it wouldn't be enough
Without your kisses
My life would be
Very tough
So feed me
With a tender kiss
So that you'll never be remiss
Never regretting kisses never given
Your kisses take me all the way to heaven
I need your kisses because they give me life
And each day I live I thank God you are my wife
Your kisses feed my heart, mind and soul
To always love and kiss you is my goal
It was from our very first kiss
That my heart you stole
So please kiss me

Today You Were With Me

Today at work you were with me
Visiting with me, as it were, in my mind
So that everywhere I looked and all around
You were the only thing that I could see or find
Just like it is everyday as I work and live my life
Having you with me, carrying you with me
Always in my heart and in my mind

Thoughts Of Our Trip to Cancun and the Yucatan

Cancun and the Yucatan were a delight
As we enjoyed the sand and the sun
Playing in the water and having some fun
But what I enjoyed most of our adventure
And our trip was just being with you
Seeing the enjoyment on your face
As you relaxed and rested
With a look of total contentment
Causing me to desire more than ever
To be the man of your thoughts and dreams
And be yours forever and for eternity
Forever being able to whisper in your ear
That I love you . . .

Our Journey Together

Our life together has been a journey
That has taken us over some rocky roads
Most of trials of our journey
Caused by my selfishness
And thoughtlessness
Yet, you are still with me
And act of unconditional love
That I don't quite understand
Although I thank God in heaven
For your desire to see things through
And make our journey together
An experience we will treasure
As we look back on it all
And have the feeling
It was worth it
This journey we have been on . . .

Last Night We Made Love

Last night we made love
Or at least for me it was love
Although for you it may have been just sex
Still, it was so great and wonderful
To feel you enjoying the intimacy
Feeling our bodies united
Flesh to Flesh
Between fresh sheets
Where our bodies could meet
Communicating mostly by touch
Moving in quiet and serence unison
Connecting us in a most sacred sort of way
Which for me touched my very heart
Causing me to fervently pray
That we will never part
So I can soon repeat
The simply phrase
Last night we made love . . .

Staying the Course

Life and love both have their ups and downs
Or at least that is how it seems with you and me
Yet through it all we have remained together
Through the thick and thin and the good and bad
And amazingly have stayed the course
Although the road at times has been rough
But as tough as it has often been
Here we are still together . . .
Indeed, God has blessed us
In our desire to make it all work
Or maybe we are both just crazy?
Still, we have stayed the course
And that says something . . .
I think it does
For sure it says one thing loud and clear
And that is I Love You!