Sunday, March 19, 2006

Today Is A New Day

Today is a new day
And so far things have gone well
So maybe by taking each day at a time
Someday we can say
That our life has been swell
Now to some this stance may seem quite stupid
Considering the anger you feel
But in my heart is a dart shot by Cupid
And so at your feet I do kneel
Asking that the past be forgiven
Please try to love me
Is all that I pray
Just give me the chance
To make your heart dance
And love me for who I am today.

Knocked to My Knees

I'm knocked to my knees and have no where to go
My life is a failure with no good things to show
I've ruined your life with sadness and grief
Until you've had to take pills to give you relief
And yet I hang on while you want to leave
You say the loves dying but I refuse to believe
But I don't know what to do as I drown in my tears
And at night I can't sleep because I'm haunted by fears
You say my words mean nothing and you are deaf to my pleas
My life and heart are now at your mercy
Here I am, knocked to my knees.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Tomorrow I'll Be Happy, But I'm An Idiot

You tell me you want to leave
And that you aren't happy
Which makes me sad beyond sad
And I wish that I could just die.
But I know that tomorrow I will awaken
And do my level best to be happy
Hoping that things will change for the better.
And you ask me how I can be happy
If your daily rejections make me so sad?
And the only reply that I can give
Is that I am an idiot
And that I remain totally in love with you
Because I know that with tomorrow
And the new day I will be happy
With the prospect that maybe you will love me
And all the sadness will fade into the past
But as I said I'm an idiot, an idiot in love.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

What Now? Maybe Tonight?

So, whats on for tonight? Apathy? Anger?
Or will you be in a loving mood?
Or be too tired to even talk?
One thing for sure, I never know?
Yet, I remain at your beckon and call
Wondering when you heart will soften
And you will once again hunger for my touch
And for my love . . .
I never know what it will be?
So as night falls, I wonder?
What now? Maybe later?
Maybe tomorrow?
Maybe tonight?

That Which Poisons The Mind

There is so much poison in the world today
Things that pollute our world and our bodies
And our minds . . .
We are told that we can take a pill
To make us happy and make pain go away
But why are we never told the entire truth?
Because the Happy Pills have a down side
That over time kills body, spirit and mind.
But profit comes before people
And the facts get buried
For the sake of corporate America
And at the cost of people's lives.
One of these poisons is a drug called Paxil
A terrible drug it is
As it dulls the senses and poisons the body
And the mind.
Yet, at first it seems to do its job
Whatever that is?
Because the doctors who prescribe really don't know
As they are the pawns of the drug companies
And have been bought off with gifts and trips
And other bribes . . .
In the meanwhile the drug continues to poison
Often not manifesting itself until many years later
As the evil poison that it really is
Over the long haul causing tremors and tumors
Mood swings and relationship dysfunctions
Brain fry and pre-parkinson shakes
Memory loss and more . . .
Not to mention dead libidos
And blunting of emotions
Killing caring
All signals of drugs like Paxil
Which poison the mind.

To Hell and Back

Life is good and it is better with you close by
Even if the past few many days have often been like hell
Causing many a tear to fall from my eyes
I have still been able to feel your love for me
Through all of the ups and downs we have been through
Certainly at times like a trip to hell and back
But even at the lowest and saddest times
My love for you has never once waivered
Because even when in hell I could still remember
The good times we have had
Causing me to look forward to my return trip
From hell

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Saturday Night Shopping

Doing some last minute grocery shopping on Saturday night
Is something I've done thousands of times in the past.
And its such a simple thing or used to be, until now . . .
Before, such little ventures out into the community were a joy
But that was when I was secure in our love for each other.
It was a simple thing that I took for granted, until now . . .
Yet, tonight, it wasn't so simple as I shopped the grocery isles
Passing families and couples who were shopping together
Some laughing and chatting together and others holding hands
Their mere sight causing me to fight back tears
And want to hide somewhere . . . In fact, to hide anywhere
As memories of sharing such simple times with you
Rushed back into my mind as cherished moments.
So, I retreated to the security of my lonely car
Leaving my half-full shopping cart in the store
As I fought back the tide of tears that flooded my eyes
And fight back the pain ripping my heart apart.
What before was easy and simple is now a difficult task
Because without you and your love
Simple as I once knew it
No longer exists, even when Saturday night shopping . . .

To Stay or Go?

You tell me that you love me as a human being
And that you want us to stay together
With the hope that maybe real love might someday bloom
Like it once did . . .
Yet, you also tell me that there are many women in the world
Who would love to have me for their own
And that if I need more than what you have to offer for now
I should leave . . .
Yet, I don't even ponder the question of to stay or go?
Because the point in fact, is that I Love You and only You
And at one time you did love me.
So I will stay and I will pray
And struggle through the hurt
Praying that your heart will once more open to me
Because I do truly love you
And I always will . . .
So yes, I will stay.

More Crazy Than Yesterday

Minute by minute and day by day
I think I am more crazy
Than in the previous day
Or in the previous minute . . .
For sure, I must be going insane
Totally whacko
A brick shy of a full load, for sure . . .
You know, Once upon a time
I felt like your prince
But now, having fallen from grace
I am just a lowly, worthless toad.
Out in the cold
Barred from your side
And your touch and your kisses
Ever since you have made your heart
Off limits to me
While I fall deeper
And deeper
Into the depths
Of craziness
And insanity
Causing me to become
More crazy than yesterday
And more in love with you
Than ever.
Crazy, isn't it?

The Bath

Saturday afternoon and you lay relaxing in a warm bath
While in an ajoining room I sit waiting for you to call me
To bring you a glass of juice or anything you might desire
And while I wait for your call which might never come
I picture in my mind your beautiful body
And how you used to let me adore you with my eyes
And with my hands and and my lips and with my body
But now only the warm waters of the bath
Touch you and kiss your body and adore you
Causing my heart, body and soul to ache
And to wish that I were the waters of your bath . . .

Friends or Lovers?

You tell me that no love for me dwells in your heart
And suggest that we just be frends
At least for now . . .
Which causes me to ask
What happened to the love that was once there?
Where did that love go?
And what has happened to us?
I know that I have been less than perfect
But I have tried to be the man of your dreams
And I have never stopped loving you
Never, ever, nor will I . . .
So, I ponder our here and now and our tomorrows
And I ask if we can once again become lovers?
Because I want to be your friend
In fact, be your best friend
And be your lover too
Can't we be both?
I hope and I pray
That someday soon
That may be the case
And so I will wait and hope and pray
For that day
Whenever that may be . . .

A Hell of A Homecoming

Gone for four days
And there wasn't a minute
That I didn't think of you
Or miss you.
You were
And always are
On my mind.
So, when you picked me up
At the airport
Your apathy
Was a slap to my face.
Your reluctance
To kiss or hold me
Cut to the bone
And knocked me to my knees.
Certainly, a hell of a homecoming
That I didn't expect
Leaving me to wonder
Where has the love gone?
So, on my first night home
We lay on opposite sides
Of our bed
And I cried myself to sleep.